An open letter to the hapless leopard, imprudent tiger, unreasonable tortoise, witless pangolin, incautious deer, fairy dog and above all, the unreasonable elephant

Dear Leopard and tiger and pangolin and all the rest,

Hey, do you understand what a prayer means. Like a fervent request, like a desperate plea, like perhaps a shout out. But do you really understand what a prayer means. Or are you too over smart to disregard the dictionary meaning of a prayer. I think you are and I think that you have too much faith on the natural state of all systems. And I think, you guys suffer from some sort of an animal ego, just like we humans have. Yes, I got it. You guys are basically egoistic overconfident optimists.

That is what you are. For what could possibly explain you guys sauntering (to use John Muir's words) down national highways, state highways, PWD roads, village roads or for that matter, even forest paths. Why do you find the warmth of the tar road so enticing, why do you feel that a straight road leads to a state of animal utopia.

Ahh, I know it now, it is all due to your ego. You guys have egos and just like us, it is your ego which is getting you killed. Walking down roads as if it is your papa's, crossing highways that even men can't dare too and even cavorting in the hard tarmac. This is why you are getting killed. Not killed, but squished, trampled, pasted, knocked down and basically mutilated beyond all definitions of annihilation that your fellow men invented.

What is this primal need to cross roads. Why can't you be happy in your island, it is still a fairly big island, is it not. And even if you cross, why do you not look left or right. No primary education or what. Even a child knows how to cross a small sized road. Even a big truck knows how to cross a road. You guys are just wrong. Wrong and foolish. Listen to me, don't cross the road. Infact, you guys should start an online campaign to ban road crossings. And whats better, make the elephant your mascot. Because that terrible giant out-of-sorts artifact ranks highest in this road crossing mayhem that you guys so seem to enjoy.

Listen guys, I offer a solution. We will talk to the nearest politician or maybe an officer and get you a fencing. Or maybe, we can use the spare fencing that is leftover with authorities after they finished fencing the whole forest. These leftovers can be useful for creating another fence around roads. And as far as snakes and beetles and lizards go, well they can go to hell for that is where they are going anyways, right.

If you really feel the need to cross roads, I offer a sombre reminder. Please click on the road-kills tab in you-tube and take a look at the myriad ways that your guys end up dying. And if that does not inspire you to stop crossing the road, what else can. One look at your cousin leopard whose hind legs were totally disintegrated while trying to cross the remainder of the road makes me feel that the way to animal nirvana is only by crossing roads. And whats more, you also usually get a couple of hundreds of humans with cameras on an ever-ready-recording mode who will lap up your slight discomfort and share your struggles with life in one of the many whatsapp groups that seem to exist just to document your evening sojourns.

There is a final solution however. What if we guys decide to sit down and talk. What if we decide to close a few roads, make a few bridges, dig some underpasses, put some serious speed controllers on trains and even put some bad-ass road humps. But again, I think I was joking as I wrote this. None of this will ultimately happen in the way you guys want it. Better still, take the first idea. STOP VENTURING OUT. Find your local supermarket in that box shaped enclosure that we are so lovingly making for you. Or perhaps, learn a few prayers or two. Remember the prayer I was talking about in the first paragraph. We Indian humans love to cross roads with a prayer in our mouth, maybe you guys should emulate us. Maybe, you will just survive.

BTW, Happy New and Adventurous year to you all!!!

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